These two meanings are not completely unrelated. When you endure work-initiated stress the results are harmful to your physical health and your mental well-being. As with any problem, it helps to look at the fundamental causes in order to work towards a long-term solution.

Why there is stress at work!

There are a hundred immediate possible causes for job-related stress. Employees and managers alike are often given unrealistic deadlines to make near-impossible goals. Competitive fast-paced business can be fun. But when the intermediate goals don't serve valid business ends - improving sales, optimizing work flow, enhancing communication - they are generally resented.

Add to that the all-too-common unreasonable boss or uncooperative co-worker. In companies large and small there are too frequently people in charge who are disrespectful and poorly qualified to lead others. They are generally more interested in flattering their manager than improving productivity and getting the job done.

Those two factors - mis-directed goals and unfair managers - explain the response that most people give when asked if they experience work-related stress and why: absence of control over their lives.

Many individuals have well-developed problem solving skills.

Women in the workplace who are also mothers know very well how to manage time, multi-task multiple demands and innovate new solutions. They practice those skills every day at home. They also know a bit more than most about how to settle disputes among individuals, all of whom may be partly wrong and partly right.

Men, too, have ample experience in prioritizing resource expenditures, responding to complaints and deciding when to push and when to compromise. They practice that at home every day.

But the workplace often fails to mirror the freedom to use one's thinking skills and the power to enact a workable solution. More often, goals come from above and little debate is allowed. Individuals employed in organizations of that kind experience obligations without authority - a guarantee of stress.

The single most-often cited reason for stress in the workplace boils down to that - demands, but without the resources to meet them. When an individual is placed in the unresolvable conflict between "I must" and "I can't", stress is the inevitable result.

Fortunately, some organizations are beginning to recognize this and are taking steps to change. With luck, you may be employed by one.

There are a dozen small, stress-relieving exercises that can help ease the symptoms while working toward the long-term cure. Stress produces a number of well-documented physiological effects like muscle tension, shallow breathing and compromised immune system. To combat these, you can take direct action.

Take a few deep breaths, slowly. No need to go into some kind of Zen state, just allow yourself to expand the chest and relieve tension around the center of the body. Stretch the arms and shoulders. Gently work the head from side to side. Flex the calves.

Take a few minutes to work on your mental processes as well. Stress often inhibits the ability to focus or concentrate effectively. It decreases memory retention on needed items because the irritation causes focus to shift to the fact of being angry.

While you're breathing deeply, close your eyes and meditate for a couple of minutes. Again, that doesn't require any form of deep relaxation, just a moment to let the external world go. At the same time, you don't want to focus solely on the anger or stress you're feeling. Focus on an internal image of something pleasant - a child's face, the family dog, a great golf swing, anything that works for you.

Now that you've tackled the symptoms, go after the roots of the problem.

Many choose to start their own businesses. That choice brings with it a whole new set of challenges, but the overarching benefit is the freedom to meet them. You'll find yourself working long hours with little recognition. But, even in the absence of large external rewards, the internal rewards - the satisfaction, the feeling of being the 'commander of your own ship' - is frequently cited as a major incentive for those who keep trying.

Many others will try to work for positive change within their current organization. Even when those efforts are only partially successful, individuals report that they gain satisfaction from the knowledge that they are not simply accepting their unpleasant fate passively.

You can make efforts to transfer to another job within the organization, or look forward to the day when that unreasonable boss will have moved on. Remember, very few things in any company stay the same for more than six months to a year.

While you're waiting for better circumstances, focus on the process less than the results. Keep a realistic attitude about what is and what is not within your control. Try not to let the latter matter very much. Seek out the cooperative individuals in the company and don't burden yourself with trying to change the others.

By all means, let off some steam to trusted friends and family members outside work. At work, stay focused on the task.

But no one is going to slow down the world, nor would many of us want to. At the same time, it's helpful to realize that with more technology comes more options. Some of those options allow us to find new ways to deal with the internal and external factors that can form the basis of stress.

You may be unlucky enough to have a boss who imposes unreasonable deadlines to meet pointless work milestones. But many have the option now to telecommute, work flexible hours and take extended leave for pregnancy and other family situations.

There may be myriad challenges in the modern world, but there are a variety of new tools to deal with them. Computers can pile up work faster, but they also allow us to get more done with less labor. They also enable us to find those with similar interests who may live thousands of miles away. In decades past, that would have been nearly impossible, except for the occasional convention in a distant city.

Psychology, though still in its infancy as a science, is starting to compile a set of good data on neurobiology, nutrition and a host of other factors relevant to stress. Figuring out useful treatments from this bewildering array of studies will take time, but progress is being made.

Sports and diet have become much more scientific than they were a generation or two ago. As tools to fight stress, exercise and a proper diet are now recognized as twins in one of the most effective strategies for combating stress.

While millions still work hard, basics like housing and food, transportation and medical treatment constitute a smaller percentage of income for most than they did in generations past. It's not uncommon for two-driver families to have more than two vehicles today.

Certainly there is no shortage of potential stressors. To listen to the nightly newscast is to see a picture of a world about to come apart at the seams. And, yet, we endure. It may be that there is more to the lives most people live than we see on the TV.

Dealing with difficult problems is, well, difficult. But that need not lead to stress. That results from a viewpoint that sees the dilemma between "I must" and "I can't" as unsolvable. But there are many more methods available today to overcome "I can't" and much more freedom to deny that "I must." Toss the dilemma aside and declare your independence from stress.

Yoga, Tai-Chi and similar disciplines from Asia have been effective for centuries in helping to relieve stress. The physical techniques limber up the muscles and help focus the mind into relaxing thoughts.

Meditation has also been practiced, in Asia and elsewhere, for centuries. It's easy to learn and has multiple benefits. Taking as little as a few minutes per day (though 15-20 is preferable) can go a long way toward relieving stress symptoms. The focus on any one thing helps move the mind away from the stressor. There is also evidence that, practiced properly, it can have numerous beneficial physical effects as well.

Deep breathing exercises can be a terrific first step toward getting stress symptoms under control. And lessening the symptoms is often a good first step toward curing the longer term problem. Try this: lie face down on the floor on a large towel, elbows bent with your hands flat on the floor. The backs of your hands should be under your chest. Now breath deeply, three or four times.

Dietary supplements can be helpful. The difficulty is that there are so many, and so many that are useless, that recommending specific ones is prone to error. Anything which helps elevate serotonin levels is likely to help. Beware those that promise miracle cures.

Some mild drugs, such as a sleeping aid can be useful on occasion. The risk is becoming dependent on them, not in the narcotic sense but simply as a crutch to avoid dealing with the underlying problem. But as part of a well-rounded program of stress relief they can be very beneficial. A proper sleep is essential to lowering stress.

Several newly popular (and some traditional) techniques have proved helpful for many. Aromatherapy, often combined with 'mood music' does actually work in a lot of cases. There's little scientific evidence that aromatherapy has any sort of deep significance, but memories are often associated with certain smells. It can certainly do no harm.

The old phrase from Congreve: 'Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast' still has a place in contemporary society. While the effect shouldn't be exaggerated, it's nonetheless true that the right kind of music can help shift mood. Both because of its memory associations with pleasant events and for reasons not well understood, music can alter feelings.

Often a good massage, particularly in conjunction with relaxing music, can be an adjunct to a larger program of stress relief. One of the most common effects of stress is severe muscle tension, particularly in the neck, shoulders and calves. Massage helps solve this physically and it has psychological overtones of doing something good for oneself that contribute to the effect.

In extreme cases, psychotherapy may be called for. The variety of schools and techniques employed make recommending a therapist harder than choosing a good dietary supplement. Trusted friends can often be a good source to turn to in this arena.

In an attempt to alleviate the tension and worry that accompany stress, some individuals will unwittingly engage in self-destructive behavior.

The stress that can lead to being short-tempered can urge someone to lash out angrily at a trusted friend or loved one. It can incline some to excessive alcohol drinking or coffee drinking with the result of high caffeine intake, leading to more stress symptoms. It can lead to aggressive or violent behavior.

One of the most common results of stress is insomnia. When something is troubling you, and you are physically uncomfortable, it's difficult to relax enough to sleep. When you do manage to fall asleep, it's often interrupted during the night, or not the type of deep sleep that is genuinely restful.

Taking a sleeping medication may be helpful in some situations, but long term dependence on any kind of drug to deal with life's problems is self-defeating. Instead, learn and use some simple meditation techniques to focus the mind and induce a relaxing state.

A heightened focus on problem solving is natural for some types of individuals. But obsessing, even in the face of serious issues, is counter-productive. Try to see the problem as you would if it were being experienced by a friend. You would be concerned, of course. We're often much better at maintaining objectivity when the problem belongs to someone else.

Some people try to cope with stress by doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. Throwing oneself into projects at work is one way of shifting focus away from problems at home. But avoidance can only be partially successful, and only temporarily at that.

Some problems do go away on their own and ignoring them can be a viable strategy. But circumstances combined with evaluations that lead to chronic stress do not disappear simply because we're not thinking about them. A temporary break to gain perspective and get the emotions under control is healthy. Hiding one's head in the sand is not.

Fundamentally, all these incorrect and unhelpful methods have a common root. Reality doesn't go away when some aspects of it are inconvenient or unpleasant. Life is filled with obstacles placed in the way of achieving values. The existence of those hurdles and the need to overcome them - when combined with doubts about our ability to do so - leads to stress.

Moderate alcohol intake, to be sure, can have beneficial effects. Research suggests that small amounts can even improve mental functioning and increase performance in problem solving while stressed. But, there are also studies that demonstrate that large quantities, particularly when consumed for long periods, actually worsens stress.

Large alcohol consumption stimulates the hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal glands. One result is an increase in the amount of cortisol produced within the body. Another is an increase in adrenaline. Both those, while they don't alone cause stress, play a large role in the symptoms.

Extreme stress makes it more difficult to concentrate. One of the obvious effects of high alcohol intake is to produce that exact effect. Thus, heavy drinkers get a double whammy just at the moment they need mental clarity most.

Other studies suggest that chronic drinkers have symptoms similar to those seen in children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Children of those drinkers, this research concludes, have a higher incidence of actual ADHD.

So, it may also be true that as much as the stress of parenting may lead to drinking, adult drinking may encourage the circumstances that incent the parent to drink. It may be a factor in producing children's symptoms that lead to adult stress.

Exercise is known to help relieve the symptoms of stress. Unfortunately, one of the additional results of excessive alcohol consumption is decreased exercise. Few inebriated people want to go a few rounds on the weight machine.

Similarly, high alcohol intake suppresses appetite. Thus, at the same time alcoholic drinks pour in the calories, they decrease the incentive to maintain a healthy diet. Once again the drinker experiences a doubly negative reinforcing effect.

Those who drink excessively to escape stress motivated by money concerns find it more difficult to cope with the problem that caused the stress in the first place. Even simple tasks like balancing a checkbook are clearly more difficult when drunk. But beyond such minor details, the cognitive functions needed to develop long term strategies are impaired. Drinkers literally can't think their way out of the problems causing the stress.

In all these cases there is a vicious cycle established. Stress encourages heavy drinking, which makes it more difficult to deal with the internal and external factors that led to stress in the first place. Though the specific numbers will vary from person to person, when the average individual drinks more than the equivalent of two or three shots of whiskey per day, the results are inevitably bad.

The key to breaking this vicious cycle is to seek alternative methods for dealing with stress. Both the symptoms and the underlying motivators are subject to change in almost all cases. Proper exercise and diet is a good beginning. A realistic attitude about life's inherent challenges can go a long way, as well. But, as with any psychological problem, admitting it exists is the first necessary step.

Nutrition studies are always difficult to interpret and any conclusions drawn should often be tentative. Later ones often appear to contradict earlier ones. But overall the research suggests what is consistent with 'common sense': a balanced diet, with adequate amounts of fruit and vegetables, and some proteins is an aid to reducing stress.

Supplements can be helpful if your diet doesn't contain a large enough amount of chemicals that help reduce stress. Serotonin, for example, is a brain chemical that helps induce calm. A diet that already contains it, or that contains compounds that help the brain produce it, assists the body in combating stress.

But since the effects are slightly delayed (it takes about 30 minutes for serotonin's effect to kick in) and lasts for several hours (about three hours), timing is also important.

Serotonin levels are often naturally higher in the morning, but decrease in the late afternoon. You can help your body by tailoring your diet accordingly. A late afternoon snack is a good idea. Baked, rather than fried, potato chips help stimulate serotonin production. Pretzels, too, are low in fat but healthy.

Stress is related to diet in other ways. It doesn't merely reduce helpful neuro-transmitters but encourages counter-productive habits, as well. Some people take to eating excessive amounts, particularly of high fat foods, in order to compensate for the symptoms of stress. Some studies suggest, however, that high fat foods tend to slow down or inhibit serotonin levels.

Moderation in intake is wise for other reasons, too. Just as inadequate exercise leads to poor fitness, excessive caloric intake amplifies the damage. As you become flabby and overweight, body image can suffer, leading to a downward spiral in self-image. The result is increased stress and often depression.

Breaking that vicious cycle requires effort, but it carries double rewards. As you become more fit, you reduce the physical effects of stress-induced biochemicals. You also improve your body, helping create a body image that elevates your mood. That kind of investment in your well-being is well worth the effort required to break the cycle.

Eating at regular times is helpful. When people are stressed, they'll often skip meals because of the depressive effect stress has on appetite. Often, too, stress is work related and less time is available for meals at scheduled times. That behavior has a compounding effect. Here again, you need to break the cycle by making a commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

During meals, focus on positive things in your life and environment. Make a conscious decision to set aside whatever internal or external factors are contributing to stress. Give yourself a parole from 'stress jail' and the freedom to enjoy a healthy meal.

Exercise causes the brain to produce a cocktail of helpful biochemicals that help reduce stress. Runners, for example, are familiar with that 'endorphin high' that comes from marathon workouts. That's the result of the brain releasing an opiate-like substance that the body produces naturally to reduce pain. In extreme cases it leads to a sense of euphoria.

Along with endorphins there are other neuro-transmitters produced - serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine - that also have beneficial effects as mood elevators. The effects of those is shown most clearly when they exist at too low levels - depression, anxiety and sometimes increased aggression.

Exercise helps reduce stress not only by the biochemicals it produces, but by reducing others produced by stress. When a person experiences stress the sympathetic nervous system produces cortisol and hormones that - if left unaltered in the blood stream - produce harmful effects on blood vessels. They can produce scaring, which can lead to narrowing of the arteries.

Exercise helps solve that problem in two ways. A good workout will actually use up those compounds, breaking them down into products that are harmless and get passed out in urine. It helps in a second way by making blood vessels stronger and more elastic, which helps them resist the effects of any stress-produced chemicals that don't get used up.

Stress often produces excessively tense muscles, particularly in the neck, shoulders and calves. Exercise can help loosen those up, both as part of a general warm-up period and during the main workout. At the same time, those muscles are getting strengthened and infused with fresh, highly oxygenated blood. Lowering 'bad' cholesterol and triglycerides in the blood helps improve the circulatory system, too. A beneficial effect all the way around.

There are psychological benefits from a regular exercise routine that help eliminate stress, as well. Focusing on the routine at hand takes away the conscious focus from the stress initiators. It's difficult to concentrate on that unreasonable boss and his unfair actions that morning when you're working your way around the weight stations.

Those effects also help give the mind a chance to bring about homeostasis. That's a feedback mechanism within the body that brings it back to a state of equilibrium from any extreme. A strenuous workout takes the mind off problems, giving that system time to function without continuing to overload it.

Other psychological benefits follow from a regular workout. Improving overall health and fitness helps produce self-confidence. When you look good, you often feel good. Beyond that, it helps you realize that you are exerting effort to improve your mind and body. That serves to overcome the feelings of helplessness and resultant passivity that so often accompany stress.

Sometimes, just getting out of the house or away from work for a vigorous walk can do wonders. But a good workout of at least half an hour's duration three to five times per week is ideal. You'll find stress levels will be lowered and your overall mood will elevate very quickly.

Stress is a mental and physical condition that occurs when there is an unresolvable conflict between "I can't" and "I must". Neither of these two components is inevitable in parenting. There are many circumstances in which a parent will want very much to achieve a particular outcome. That's the "I must" part. And, there are certainly many situations in which you throw up your hands and say "I can't".

But very few goals are so fundamental and so long-term that they should be regarded as overwhelmingly important. If they're not overwhelmingly important, it isn't necessary to be overwhelmed when striving for them.

Neither do the two components have to occur together. Sometimes, in fact, it will be true that you can't achieve a particular goal. Realism is essential in parenting, just as it is in every other aspect of life. It's also true that there are truly very few 'musts' in parenting. A great many goals are desirable, even worthy. Some are even noble. But very few are mandatory.

Educating children, for example, is difficult and hugely important. But no single school, at any age, is essential to a successful life. There are always options. Sometimes those require making difficult and unpleasant choices. It may require relocating, looking for alternative schools or even homeschooling.

But those choices need not lead to stress. Taking choices seriously doesn't have to lead to chronic worry, insomnia, feelings of helplessness or continual irritability - all common signs of stress. It's possible to regard a goal as important without concluding that one doesn't have the resources needed to achieve it. Even when you don't, you can often acquire or develop them.

Using education as an example again, many parents worry over how to pay for a good college for their son or daughter. But there are more ways to finance that now than there are methods for financing a house. Though, admittedly, the two are becoming about equal in cost!

Few parenting dilemmas are as potentially stress-inducing as a child who simply will not listen, particularly when their behavior is unruly or even violent. Here, too, there are rarely any quick fixes. But, as with any thorny problem, an attitude of confidence in one's ability to find answers, and a view to the long-term, will go a long way toward minimizing stress.

When the resources for solving that issue aren't immediately at hand, a confident parent will look for them wherever they can be found - friends, grandparents, counselors, Internet sites. You'll find others have tackled the same problem.

Stress need only come into the equation when you come to believe that there is simply 'no way' to solve a problem you 'must' solve. Tossing away both those false alternatives leaves you still with a problem, but not that which only adds to the burden - stress.

Several studies suggest that having a pet helps recovering surgery patients heal faster. If the link between infection and stress that some of them show is correct, this shouldn't be surprising. The positive effect on the immune system could account for that.

For many, having pets clearly has an abundance of psychological pluses as well. Cats, for example, are obviously oblivious to any problems a person might have. They want their supper and their rub while perched in a warm, stationary lap. The shift of focus to the pets wants and away from the unpleasant episode at the office can help lower stress.

The sympathetic nervous system works in conjunction with other brain areas to generate hormones and signals that create our 'fight or flight' mechanism. Shifting attention away activates the parasympathetic nervous system that has opposite effects. In short, we calm down. That interlude helps the body achieve homeostasis - the move back to equilibrium from an extreme - that stress has interrupted.

Dogs are terrific stress relievers, when they aren't creating more. Digging holes in the backyard, ruining a good pair of shoes or creating a mess on the carpet certainly don't help alleviate stress. But a short game of fetch with a tennis ball can. Watching their eager joy in simple activities is a vivid reminder that not everything in life is an occasion for doom and gloom.

Dogs have been domesticated to live with humans for over 10,000 years. During that time they have participated in a hundred common human rituals and activities, some of which can offer relief from stress symptoms. Fishing, hiking and other activities are in themselves stress relievers. When accompanied by a loved and loving dog the effect is amplified.

Even aquarium fish can provide a source of stress relief. Taking care of tropical fish requires a lot of careful planning and execution. That focus helps keep one's mind off what often amounts to trivial problems. Additional rewards can show up by observing the many interesting behaviors sea creatures exhibit.

A variety of pets - tropical birds, hamsters, ferrets and many more - frequently display actions that people find humorous. And even the most serious psychotherapist will agree that laughter is excellent medicine when it comes to lessening stress.

Though the form of communication between animals and humans is very different from that between one person and another, there is an undeniable understanding that forms between individuals and their non-human companions. That bond is often stronger than between casual friends. The result is a feeling of support without expectation of anything other than a good fur stroking.

After all, when was the last time you ever heard anyone say 'my dog drove me to drink'?